"The Art of Open Sensuality"

A modern guide to careful
exploration of One's expanding
sexuality and sensuality
page #13 of 30

Written by: David & Tia
from October 2000 to February 2005

Essential Criteria

We feel this alternative lifestyle should be only for couples that have put a great deal of effort into their relationship over the course of time, and developed good communication skills toward building a solid bond.  It should not be used to save a damaged or weak relationship, as it will more likely become the catalyst to unhinge what little you had going for you.  This Lifestyle will bring out issues you never knew you had, so how you are able to deal with them and work through them will make all the difference to your success.

One of the most common issues people seem to have a hard time with seems to be personal self-esteem. Not feeling worthy of being loved. This will come out in a variety of ways. It is important to realize that what may seem to be coming out on the surface may not be the underlying issue that is causing the discord. Try not to react to what seems to be the obvious issue here, or you are likely to fail the test. You or your partner may be just fighting for attention and affection. Step back from the pain and the obvious surfaces issues, and see it from this different angle.

Don't feel bad about yourself when your partner’s insecurities shift the blame over to you. They need to have time to acknowledge that they own those feelings.  Your attempts to fix it all backfire and not help solve the issue, and possibly cause more issues and insecurities. Often people just need to be heard and acknowledged. It helps them to verbalize their issues. You do not need to rush to fix them.  They will need to develop coping skills of this will not work out.  Trying to solve things will often irritate them, as it shows disrespect for their ability to cope and solve problems for themselves.  Thy to think how it makes you feel?  If you feel they are not seeing things clearly, ask them how they would feel if the tables were turned. This should help them see things from a different angle, and see of the big picture better?

If you are reading this far, we are very impressed. That makes you a rare individual or couple indeed. You just might have what it takes.